


It's Not What's On The Outside That Defines You

by Anonymous



Category: CrankGameplays - Fandom, Crankiplier - Fandom, Video Blogging RPF, markiplier - Fandom
Genre: Anxiety, Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Smut, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Multi, Polyamory, Polyamory Negotiations, Recovery, Sex, Smut, TATC, Trans Male Character, more tags to come
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-22
Updated: 2021-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-12 12:28:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,946
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29634657
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Ethan meets Mark in a small coffee shop and the rest is history.
Relationships: Mark Fischbach/Amy Nelson, Mark Fischbach/Amy Nelson/Ethan Nestor, Mark Fischbach/Ethan Nestor
Comments: 15
Kudos: 61
Collections: Anonymous





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> There were a lot of requests for this type of fic and I am more than happy to fill the requests. I probably won't incorporate all of the individual requests in this fic and what I don't do in this fic, I will make one shots about them. I'm sorry the first chapter is a slow start, please stick around!
> 
> For the love of all that is YouTube, mind the tags. I am also not all knowing, so if I get something wrong, PLEASE let me know. 
> 
> Comment any requests or drop them at my tumblr, down below!
> 
> As always, a work of fiction that is mildly proofed. 
> 
> -TATC

Ethan slipped his jeans on over his slender hips, they were slightly curvy, but it was nothing a pair of slightly too loose skinny jeans couldn’t hide. He chose a maroon long sleeve shirt and pulled it on. He smiled softly to himself as he smoothed the fabric over his chest and stomach. With a deep breath, he took a moment to admire himself in the mirror. He admired the way his eyes glistened in the bathroom light. 

He thought he looked good, very neutral outfit, very simple. He looked like himself today, he thought. He slung a backpack that had his laptop, a notebook, and a couple of books onto his back and walked out of his small apartment. He had just moved to a new neighborhood, just a few streets from where he used to live so he could be closer to the magazine he worked for as an editor. He was out venturing to look for a small coffee shop to hopefully get some work done. Ethan was lucky enough that he got to make his own schedule as long as he met his deadline. 

He came across a small, cozy looking coffee shot just a couple of blocks from his apartment building. The color scheme was all neutrals with small pops of color of art on the walls, intensifying the coziness of the shop. He pulled open the door and was met with the wonderful smell of coffee and more couches and armchairs than tables.

Ethan was more than excited to curl up on a couch in the corner to do work. 

“Good morning!” A deep voice chirped.

Ethan’s head snapped up toward the counter where the voice came from. There stood a tall man with dark hair tied back into a ponytail, he looked Asian but with a strong face. A small wave of anxiety rushed through him as he realized he needed to respond and the man was  _ insanely  _ attractive.

“Good morning,” Ethan responded, walking right up to the counter looking over the menu nervously. Luckily it was early enough that there weren’t many people roaming around the small coffee shop. 

“What can I get for you?” 

Ethan had to refrain from shivering at the man’s honey voice. It was smooth and rich, comforting. 

“Um, a latte, please,” Ethan responded, tripping over his words a little reaching to pull his wallet out of his jeans pocket. 

“On me,” the kind man responded, placing a hand over Ethan’s hand as he held out his debit card. 

“Thank you, um,” Ethan glanced down at the lavender apron that was tied to the barista’s waist looking for a nametag. “Mark.” 

“My pleasure…,” He trailed.

“Ethan,” He filled in the gap for him. 

“Well Ethan, take a seat, I’ll bring it out to you since it’s a slow morning.” 

With a light blush, Ethan thanked him again and found a cozy armchair near the window. There was a small table just to the side of the chair Ethan noted as he pulled his laptop from his backpack. Just as he finished looking at his emails, Ethan heard a soft clink of ceramic next to him. He looked over to see Mark setting down a grey mug with colorful polka dots all over the exterior on the small table. A heart was created in the foam of the latte on the surface. 

“I love the mug,” Ethan commented, quickly reaching for it, enjoying the way the warmth spread through his constantly cold hands. He appreciated that the shop used ceramic mugs instead of the disposable paper cups. 

“We have a local artist who contributes some by hand,” Mark said warmly, wiping his sweaty hands on the rag dangling from the pouch in the front of his apron. 

“They’re good,” Ethan mumbled into the rim of the mug before taking a small sip. He hummed to himself as the warmth spread through him. 

“She’s actually here, hey Amy!” Mark waved as the door of the coffee shop opened. 

Anxiety thrummed through Ethan, he always had a hard time talking to new people. He’s always been sort of insecure around anyone, but new conversations were always difficult and Mark seemed like someone who could just talk to anyone. That intimidated Ethan, he wished he could find himself to be that confident. 

“Hey, Mark,” Amy chirped, she held a cardboard box with something rattling inside. “I’ve got some more mugs that I have in overstock!” Ethan watched her walk through a doorway, out of the main area of the coffee shop. He admired her dark hair that was half pulled back into a small bun resting on her head. 

A customer walked in and Mark quickly walked away, leaving Ethan with the promise that he would come back. Ethan was surprised he wanted to talk to him so much, he had hardly said anything to Mark. 

_ Does he know? _

_ No, there’s no way.  _

Ethan quickly shook the thoughts from his mind, reminding him that this man didn't even know him. He didn't know who he is or who he used to be. He busied himself on his computer, reading over some articles he'd gotten sent in over the weekend. 

"I've never seen you around here before," Mark’s warm voice broke Ethan from his focus.

"That would be because it's my first time here," Ethan retorted with a grin. 

Mark's face faltered for a split second, not expecting who he thought was a shy, gentle man to have some wit and some sass. The surprise quickly wore off and he grinned back at Ethan. 

"Well that would make a lot of sense now, wouldn't it?" He chuckled. "I gotta head to the back and brace for mid morning rush, but um, I hope I see you around more, Ethan."

With that, Mark turned on his heel and made his way back behind the counter. Mark's words left a warm feeling in his chest. 

Ethan stole glances in that direction, watching as Mark set out mugs and various other items to prepare for what he called the mid morning rush.

The rush did indeed come and Ethan was kind of grateful for it. As cute and wonderful as he thought Mark was, he didn't want any extra attention today. 

When Ethan felt like he had gotten enough work done for the day to be satisfied with himself, he packed up his belongings and slung his backpack over his shoulder. Avoiding everyone possible, he gathered his now empty mug and gently placed it into the bin near a trash can designated for the ceramic mugs and plates. 

Ethan managed to sneak out of the shop without Mark noticing. He found the man insanely attractive and he even thought that he was flirting with him. Ethan didn’t have time for a new relationship, he thought to himself. He didn’t want to go through the troubles and tribulations of a new relationship, the anxiety and the getting to know each other. Not after the last relationship. 

When Ethan finally got to his apartment, he felt exhausted despite it only being about two in the afternoon. He was starving having only had one cup of coffee in the shop, but he couldn’t really bring himself to make lunch for himself. Instead he settled for pulling his wallet, EpiPens, and keys from his pocket, dumping them in the bowl near his door before flopping himself down on the couch. 

Flashes of Mark’s face linered in his mind as he closed his eyes, trying desperately to will them away. All he could think about was how gorgeous and kind Mark was. Ethan couldn’t even believe that Mark was probably flirting with him. If he wasn’t flirting with Ethan, why else would Mark pay for his coffee and then hold some conversation with him after? 

With a groan, Ethan rubbed his hands over his face and forced himself up from the couch. He made himself busy with watering his various plants and tidying up the apartment a bit before making himself a simple sandwich. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updates will probably be irregular because of school, please be patient. I may get one shots out faster. My tumblr is linked below for you to see my craziness in the things that I reblog. 
> 
> PLEASE stick around for the show. I know it's a slow build. If you want to see anything, I can try to work it in or it may turn into a one shot!
> 
> Comment any requests or drop them at my tumblr, down below!
> 
> As always, a work of fiction that is mildly proofed. 
> 
> -TATC

Mark was utterly and completely exhausted when he got home from the coffee shop. He was fortunate enough to be able to choose his own hours there since he partially owned the shop with his brother. Despite this, he still tended to over work himself. He was always the first one in the shop and one of the last few to leave. 

When he got home, he was very relieved to see his girlfriend was home and not working on her own projects. He was missing her all day. The young man who had come in relatively early was still fresh on his mind. He was wondering about who he was and how he had come to find their small shop on the street.

His soft features were currently etched into Mark’s mind. His subtle jawline and big round green eyes. He loved the way he smiled and the way he kept to himself intrigued Mark. He wanted to know him more. He hoped he kept coming back to his shop. 

“Hi,” his girlfriend’s voice broke him from his thoughts as he wandered into the kitchen where she was pouring some pasta into a strainer. 

“Hi, Amy,” Mark greeted, smiling softly to himself. Her hair was tied back, some strands falling messily around her face. 

“How was work?”

“Good,” he mumbled, coming around the counter to press a gentle kiss on the back of her head. 

“That guy cancelled on us, again,” Amy informed, a look of disappointment flashed across Mark’s face. 

“We should just give up on that date, then huh?” He asked, hopping up onto the counter to watch her finish making dinner. 

“I guess so. Just wish he wouldn’t have had us think this is what he wanted.” 

Mark could tell Amy was more than disappointed. She seemed hurt and frustrated that they couldn’t find someone who fit well for their relationship. 

“I saw a cute guy today. In the coffee shop,” He offered as some comfort. 

“That who you were talking to when I came in?”

Mark wanted to avoid the question for just a few more moments. He wanted to avoid telling Amy what he was thinking just for a few moments longer. He watched as Amy carefully plated the pasta, pouring sauce over it before walking towards their table with the plates. Mark grabbed the small plates of salad and set them down near the pasta on the dining room table. Two glasses of wine were already set on the table. Mark sat across from Amy and she gave him an expectant look. 

“Yea, he’s cute isn’t he?” Mark stabbed his fork through some of the lettuce and other vegetables on his plate. 

“You want to try to ask him about it, don’t you?”

“Yeah,” Mark hesitated for a moment, “Don’t you? I mean- You still want to add another partner, right?” 

Amy smiled softly, as carefree as Mark tried to be, he was always a little nervous about their relationship. A polyamorous relationship needs a lot of communication and understanding. He always wanted to make sure Amy was comfortable and she was always very grateful for that. 

“I do, as long as they click with the both of us, I want them in our relationship.” 

“Should I ask him?” 

“Yea, I think so.” 

“Are you still okay with me dating them first? I know you want to have a say-”

“Mark,” Amy stopped him in his tracks before he went off on a tangent. “I am completely secure in you exploring to find someone that you want to bring into our relationship.”

Mark smiled back at Amy, some of the tension finally leaving his body. He loved her with everything he had and he was grateful that they could have an open relationship. Mark and Amy had been together for a long time and he wanted to explore more, but also still be secure with her. He was more than grateful that Amy wanted to do the same, wanted to venture out beyond them and love someone together.

As they went through dinner, a few thoughts kept crossing Amy’s mind. She wondered if they would ever find a partner that fit well for them. She loved being with Mark, but she wanted to spread her love farther. She wanted another partner for them both. She didn’t know what that would look like, it depended on the partner, but she knew she wanted to expand their relationship. No matter who they were. 

“We’ll find someone right?” Amy voiced her thoughts. 

Mark paused, setting his fork down on the side of the plate. He reached across the table and took her hand in his before responding. 

“We will,” Mark assured. 

\----

Just a few streets over, Ethan was on the phone with his best friend Brian. They would always check in with each other a couple of times a week, no matter what. He was currently rattling off everything he had done since he moved into his new apartment. 

“I managed to fucking cut my finger open while I was unpacking a couple days ago,” he laughed at himself, holding his bandaged finger up to the front facing camera so his friend could see. 

“God, Ethan you really have to be more careful. 

“I saw a cute guy today,” Ethan informed Brian as if it was nothing before rushing to what he was doing for work this week. 

“Wait, wait! Stop telling me about how someone can’t spell, you saw a cute guy? Did you talk to him?” His friend pressed, always interested in Ethan’s life. 

Brian always looked out for Ethan, especially in his relationships. While Brian had been with the same person since high school, Ethan had not been so lucky. He had his fair share of experiences with horny guys who only wanted sex and no real realtionship. Ethan craved to be emotionally stimulated by a partner  _ and  _ sexually stimulated, but mostly emotionally. Unfortunately, his past left him with a hard shell. Something that was often hard to break down. His relationships were always difficult, rocky, never really going the way he wanted them to or any way that was fun for him. 

“He talked to me, actually,” Ethan informed, looking away from his phone screen, directing his eyes to a crack on his ceiling. 

“Tell me what happened.” 

Ethan knew if he didn’t tell Brian, he would keep pestering him and go on about how “Ethan, you hardly ever open up about stuff.” 

“He was the barista at the coffee shop. He paid for my coffee and just small talk. Not a whole lot, please don’t read too much into it,” Ethan sounded tired. And he was. He knew that this Mark person was flirting with him and probably thought he was attractive. 

“Make the first move,” Brian said bluntly, sipping on whatever coffee the crazy man always drank at five in the evening. 

“Brian, no one could love me the way that I am,” Ethan deadpanned into the camera. 

“Ethan, it’s not what’s on the outside that defines you. Someone will love you and not care about how you look.”

“It’s more than the way I look and you know that,” Ethan retorted, walls going up in defense. 

Brian didn't say anything. Partially because he didn’t know what to say and because he knew that no matter what he said, Ethan would never be confident about how he looked. Brain has known Ethan for a long time and he knows that the days that he feels confident in himself are few and far between. 

“Ethan,” Brian said softly, getting his attention. His voice was a stark contrast from the high emotion conversation they were just having. “You just moved away from a neighborhood you’ve lived in for a while, you have a job you really like and a new placeI. I’m just trying to say, you made yourself a fresh start. What do you have to lose?” 

Ethan nodded. He knew Brian was right. He really did have nothing left to lose. He’d left his ex’s behind, his past behind him, and he was starting somewhat new. Ethan decided he would try and make the first move tomorrow when he went to get some more work done.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you want to see anything in particular? Maybe in this story or in a one shot? Or just have something you want to say anonymously?
> 
> Comment below or drop it in my [Tumblr!](https://tatc.tumblr.com/)
> 
> ALSO Since I post anonymously, check out [Ao3 Feed Crankiplier](https://ao3feed-crankiplier.tumblr.com/) on tumblr for any new posts. I'll start putting TATC in the tags!
> 
> -TATC


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you want to see anything, let me know and I can try to work it in!
> 
> Comment any requests or drop them at my tumblr, down below!
> 
> As always, a work of fiction that is mildly proofed. 
> 
> -TATC

Ethan stood staring at himself in the mirror, trying to hype himself up. He hadn’t gone to the little coffee shop in a couple of days. He wasn’t necessarily avoiding going there, but something did come up at work that he needed to go into the office for. It just happened to conveniently line up with his anxiety of seeing Mark and making the first move. 

Ethan made sure he was up early to avoid the rush that would surely come into the coffee shop in the middle of the week. He didn’t even have any work to do, he was solely going for the purpose of talking to Mark. He had settled on wearing black jeans and a mustard yellow crew neck. It wasn’t hot or cold today, making it the perfect weather for just a long sleeved shirt. With a shaky breath, he made his way out of his apartment. 

Ethan was nervous to put it lightly. He didn’t particularly enjoy rejection, who does? He knew Brian had a point, he couldn’t stay holed up in his own mind and home for his entire life, as much as he really wanted to, he did also long for someone to be in his life. For it to just not be him. He was scared of people, he hid behind a tough exterior. 

When Ethan tugged the door open the coffee shop the little bell rang over his head and a sense of defeat flooded his chest. The man standing at the counter who greeted him with a chirp ‘good morning’ wasn’t Mark. He looked sort of like Mark, maybe a brother, but it definitely wasn’t Mark. Swallowing down his pride, Ethan walked up to the counter anyway. 

“Um, is Mark here?” 

“He is, who are you?”

“Ethan,” he responded, annoyance likely evident in his voice. Ethan was already dreading this, he hardly ever made the first move. 

With a soft smile, the man held up a finger and turned on his heel, walking away from Ethan. In an effort to distract his wandering thoughts, Ethan’s eyes scanned over the menu. It was a pretty standard coffee menu, nothing too extravagant like a Starbucks or a Dunkin Donuts. Just as Ethan was reading over the various iced coffees, Mark’s voice broke his concentration. 

“Long time, no see,” his brown eyes crinkled with the cheesy smile he gave Ethan as he wiped his hands on a rag that hung from the pocket of his apron.

“Yeah, um, about that,” Ethan scratched at the back of his neck nervously. “Look, I don’t normally do this, but do you want to go out on a date?” The question was blunt and to the point, Ethan wasn’t particularly fond of beating around the bush. 

Mark looked surprised for a moment and then his face softened. 

“Sure, what are you doing tonight?”

“ _ Tonight?” _ Ethan’s voice was pitched, clearly not expecting for it to happen on the same day. 

“Yes, tonight,” Mark chuckled back. “You said you don’t normally do this, why not add to abnormality?”

Mark laughed at Ethan’s expression. His mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water. 

“How about you meet me here at six? Dress comfortably.”

“Yeah, okay,” Ethan mumbled. 

“Okay.”

“Wait,” Ethan added, “I have a severe peanut allergy.”

“I’ll keep that in mind for what I have planned.”

“Okay,” Ethan sighed, “I’ll see you at six?”

“Six,” Mark confirmed. 

After Ethan had left the coffee shop, still in dire need of coffee that he had forgotten to even order while the entire ordeal was going on, Mark ran to the stock room and quickly dialed Amy. 

“Amy, he asked me out!”

“Mark, hold on,” she huffed on the other line. 

“He asked you out?”

“Yes and I got over excited and said we should go tonight!” 

“Well, just treat him nicely and I’ll stay out of your way,” Amy giggled into the phone. 

They discussed what he should do for the date for a few minutes before Mark had to go again. He needed to finish inventory and get out to the front for the morning rush. He considered it a grace of God that the young man had come to ask him out on a date instead of the other way around. Usually it was Mark making first moves and talking to new people. The change was nice. 

When Ethan finally made it back to his apartment, he was sweating bullets from anxiety and there was a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach. He never did these kinds of things, he was never spontaneous enough to reach out and ask someone first. He was always just hoping someone would take a liking to him from afar, avoiding social interactions. 

Ethan decided to try and ease his nerves by sitting down and reading a book, or at least attempt to. He was still beyond surprised with himself that he decided to make the first move. 

Slowly the morning and afternoon dragged by. He just wanted to get the date over with if he was truly being honest with himself. He wanted the anxiety and nerves of dating a new person to finally leave his body. 

Finally five o’clock rolled around and Ethan had decided it was probably time to get ready. Mark had said to dress comfortably, so he settled on keeping his black pants on but opting to change his yellow crew neck for a light grey one. This particular crew neck was a bit baggier and he liked the way it hung loosely on his frame, hiding his features. He spent a good twenty minutes frustrated with his air, trying to get it to settle in a way that he thought he looked good in. 

Once Ethan finally felt comfortable enough, he slipped on a pair of grey Vans, and nervously made his way back down the street. His heartbeat was loud in his ears, thrumming to the pace of his quick steps. He always hated being late. He was always told if he wasn’t early he was late. Ethan being the overly punctual person that he was, he showed up to the coffee shop at 5:45 p.m. on the dot. 

He tugged the door open and stepped inside. It was dimly lit and seemed overly clean. He figured they were just about to close as an explanation for the lack of people and employees. 

“Hey,” Mark’s voice caused him to jerk his head to the right, spotting him tugging a light jacket on. 

“Hi,” Ethan responded, offering a small wave. 

“How does pizza in the park sound?” Mark asked, walking across the empty shop. Ethan was caught in almost a trance, watching how Mark’s shoulders moved when he walked and the way his body moved with utter confidence. 

_ What I would give to be able to move like that,  _ Ethan thought to himself. 

“Pepperoni?” He responded with a question. 

“Whatever you want, on me,” Mark asked, flashing him a gentle smile, reaching forward for Ethan’s hand. What was intended to be a kind gesture caused Ethan to flinch back slightly, never having gotten used to the normal gestures of a relationship or dates. 

Mark raised his eyebrows, “It’s okay if you don’t want me to hold your hand,” He offered, sensing Ethan’s hesitancy. 

“I want to, it’s just been a while since I’ve been on a date,” Ethan informed, reaching forward to meet Mark half way and tangle his fingers with his. 

His hand was so warm. Mark made him feel comfortable and he hardly knew him. There was something comforting about his voice and his presence, he seemed like a kind man. Seemed carefree yet confident. It was something Ethan wasn’t used to seeing in people, especially himself. 

After the initial awkward moments diminished, both men walked together hand in hand down the street. Mark had ordered the pizza by phone just before they left the coffee shop so that it would be ready by the time they got to the park. Mark informed Ethan that where the pizza place he chose was a small business and he ensured him that he double checked they did not use peanuts in their kitchen. Ethan was very relieved for Mark to have remembered his allergy. 

Their conversation was light and enjoyable. Mark asked the usual questions that someone would typically ask Ethan. ‘When did you find out you’re allergic?’ and ‘How can I help if you have a reaction?’ Ethan never minded the questions, he was always glad to answer anyone’s curiosities about that aspect of his life. They talked about how Mark couldn’t drink alcohol due to his body not being able to process it. While their experiences were not the same, they connected just a little bit over their shared avoidance of foods. 

They had gathered their pizza and drinks, sitting across from each other at a picnic table in the well lit park. There were a few other couples roaming the paved paths and some parents with their young children. It was a nice night to be out in the evening, the sun just settling down below the horizon for the night. 

“So what brought you to this side of the city?” Mark asked Ethan in between bites of delicious greasy pizza. 

“My job,” Ethan responded, hiding his chewing behind his hand. Warmth blossomed in Mark’s chest as he saw Ethan’s eyes glitter at the mere mention of his job. Mark knew just the feeling of truly enjoying your work. 

“I’m an editor for a magazine,” He added, grinning at Mark. 

They continued talking about their jobs and how they figured out what career path was right for them. Ethan always loved writing and creating stories in his mind. Mark loved to help people and he loved coffee. He was an extrovert, Ethan had gathered. Mark talked about how his brother was really the brains of their business. 

Once their pizza was gone and there was a comfortable lull in the conversation, Mark gestured for Ethan to get up. 

“I know a milkshake place just down here, and yes, peanut free.”

“Okay,” Ethan giggled, wrapping a hand around Mark’s inner elbow. 

“Or do you wanna come to my place for some coffee? It’s kind of cold out.”

As Mark mentioned the cold, Ethan had noticed his nose and face were kind of numb. 

“Yeah, your place sounds good,” Ethan whispered, grinning up at Mark.

They walked hand in elbow, making more quiet conversation as they walked down the street. Ethan had discovered Mark lived across the street in a small flat. It was cozy and comfortable. It was just the right size for one person and it was nicely furnished. There was no kitchen table, but Mark did have a nicely sized island with tall bar stools. Ethan slid up onto a stool as Mark started up the coffee maker. 

Mark sat next to Ethan as the coffee dripped down into the pot.

“Can I get your phone number?” Mark asked, his voice deep and velvety.

“Yea, I had a good night,” Ethan blushed. 

Mark slid his phone across the island top to Ethan who punched in his number. Mark sent him a cheeky text that read ‘Mark <3’

“So you really had a good night,” Mark asked, resting his head in his hand to gaze at Ethan.

“It’s what I said, isn’t it?” Ethan responded cheekily.

“Can I kiss you then?”

“Only if you want to.” 

Ethan also wasn’t someone to kiss on the first date, but he decided today would be a day of firsts. Mark carefully rested a hand on Ethan's jaw, trailing a finger down to his chin, tipping his head up. He gently pressed his lips to Ethan’s. Ethan’s breath hitched, pressing back against Mark’s. 

The door bursting open caused both men to jump apart. There in the doorway stood the same girl Ethan had first seen in the coffee shop. The ceramic artist. 

“Y-you have a girlfriend?” Ethan’s voice quivered.

He knew it was too good to be true.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you want to see anything in particular? Maybe in this story or in a one shot? Or just have something you want to say anonymously?
> 
> Comment below or drop it in my [Tumblr!](https://tatc.tumblr.com/)
> 
> ALSO Since I post anonymously, check out [Ao3 Feed Crankiplier](https://ao3feed-crankiplier.tumblr.com/) on tumblr for any new posts. I'll start putting TATC in the tags!
> 
> -TATC


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look at me updating instead of sleeping
> 
> Comment any requests or drop them at my tumblr, down below!
> 
> As always, a work of fiction that is mildly proofed. 
> 
> -TATC

All three of them stood facing inward towards each other. Ethan’s glaze flickered back and forth between Mark and Amy. The air was thick and tense.

Guilt flooded Amy, coming to a realization of what she had done. She’d forgotten to text Mark to see if his date was over or what had come of it. 

Mark looked like he was going to be sick, frustration turning into guilt.

And as for Ethan, his heart was beating erratically in his ears. His heartbeat was so loud it was drowning out his heavy breaths. Anger flared inside him, face flushing hot. He couldn't believe he'd gotten himself in this situation again. 

“I’m leaving,” Ethan announced, teeth gritted, his temper flaring. He slid off the bar stool and just as he was going to start walking toward the still open door, Mark latched onto his wrist. 

“She’s my girlfriend, but it’s not what you think,” he tried to reason, hoping Ethan would give him the chance. 

“I’ve been in this situation before, Mark. I’m not stupid,” Ethan tugged his wrist from Mark’s hand. 

“Hear him out,” Amy finally voiced. 

“We’re looking for another partner,” Mark whispered, causing Ethan to turn and look at him. 

“A  _ what?”  _ Ethan asked, not really understanding what Mark was saying. 

“A partner,” Amy clarified. “We um, we want another partner.”

“Like what a love triangle?” Ethan’s eyes were wild, he’d hardly understood what was happening. 

“We’re interested in a polyamorous relationship,” Mark said.

Ethan’s eyes widened to the size of saucers. 

“So what do you just pick random guys to bring into this? Without telling them?”

“Okay wait,” Mark was clearly frustrated, not liking the way Ethan was just accusing him. Forcing walls up. “ _ You  _ asked me on a date, Ethan. And no, we don’t just pick up random people and ask them to date the both of us. One of us will usually date someone for a couple of dates alone and see if we think they’re a good fit and  _ then  _ talk to them about it. But Amy didn’t text me.”

“Sorry,” Amy offered, gently closing the door. 

“It’s okay Ames,” Mark assured, turning to look at her with a soft smile. 

Ethan looked conflicted to put it lightly, Mark had noticed. Amy was looking at both men with concern, fearing that Ethan would reject this whole notion. This wasn’t exactly how either Mark or Amy intended for all of this to go. 

“Ethan?” Mark asked. 

“I’ve never done something like this before,” he whispered, fortifying his 

emotional walls. 

“To be fair, we didn’t think this would go like this,” Amy offered, taking a couple of steps toward Ethan. His body tensed at her actions, unsure of what she wanted to do. 

“I have a lot of baggage. What if I don’t even like this? What if this isn’t right for me? This whole two partners thing?” Ethan was starting to word vomit at this point, anxiety tightening his chest. He was becoming overwhelmed. 

“Hey, take a breath,” Mark instructed, resting firm, grounding hands on Ethan’s shoulders. 

“You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to,” Amy assured. 

“H-how does all of this work?” Ethan asked timidly, shying into himself, wanting to hide. 

“For us, Amy and I talk to see if we like the person we’ve been dating and then we ask the person if they like us,” Mark explains, leading Ethan over to the couch, guiding Ethan down. Amy followed in suit, resting down against the coffee table and Mark sitting on the arm of the couch, giving Ethan enough space if he needed it. 

“S-so do I go out with Amy?” 

“Only if you want to,” Amy assured, reaching forward to rest a hand on Ethan’s knee. He willed himself to not flinch away at the touch. 

“Did you have a good night?” Mark asked, wanting to know if he liked at least one of them first. 

“Y-yes,” Ethan whispered, still baffled one person took a liking to him and now the possibility that there may be another. “Can we go out a little more, though? Before a date with Amy?” 

Ethan’s voice was scared, afraid. He didn’t know what would happen out of all of this. He felt like his life was suddenly different, a few days ago he was just an editor living on his own, and now he may be in a two partner relationship. That’s even if Amy wanted to be with him. 

“We’ll take it at your pace, Ethan.” 

“How did all of this start? Between the two of you?” 

“We’ve been dating for a few years,” Amy started. “We wanted something more, someone else to share our love with.” 

“I want to go home,” Ethan said suddenly. Mark’s heart dropped at his words, taking it as a sign he no longer wanted this. 

“Okay,” Mark said, defeated. 

“I want to try,” Ethan whispered, “But I’m a lot, I want you to know.” 

“No one said relationships were easy,” Amy responded with a kind smile. 

“Let’s get you home so you can sleep on it. I’ll drive you,” Mark offered. 

“Yeah, okay,” Ethan agreed, standing on slightly wobbly legs. 

Mark guided Ethan with a hand on his lower back out of the apartment and to his red car that was parked on the street. Ethan was grateful Mark offered to drive him home, it was cold and he was almost too anxious to walk. Once they were settled into the car and the engine started, Mark spoke up quietly. 

“I know tonight didn’t go the way anyone had intended, but trust me there are no hard feelings if this doesn’t work for you.” 

“Mark,” Ethan started, staring out the window as Mark pulled away from the curb. “There are reasons why I’m alone. Why I’ve hardly dated and why I never make the first move. I’m open to this, but time will tell if you’re open to me.” 

Mark didn't say anything more after that. Ethan gave Mark directions to his apartment and Mark walked him up to the door. 

"Text me, about anything, okay?" And with that Mark left Ethan with a parting kiss on the cheek. 

Mark got back into his car and watched to make sure Ethan was safely in his apartment building before driving away. When he made it back to his apartment, Amy was sitting at the island with a glass of her red wine. 

"I'm so sorry," she apologized again. 

"It's okay, Amy," Mark said softly, sliding into a stool next to her. 

"He's hurting," Mark said after a few moments of silence, standing to rummage through their junk drawer. 

"What do you mean?" 

"He said some things and he's been through hell, I think, " Mark mumbled as he slid a cigarette between his lips. 

Amy grimaced at the sight, Mark didn't smoke often, just when he was contemplating or he had a really good day and wanted to "celebrate." He treated it the same way most people treated a glass of wine after work. He lit the end and took a deep breath. 

"I want to get to know him though," Amy said, fearing Mark would back out. 

"Don't worry, Ames. I do,too" he said, smoke escaping his lips. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you want to see anything in particular? Maybe in this story or in a one shot? Or just have something you want to say anonymously?
> 
> Comment below or drop it in my [Tumblr!](https://tatc.tumblr.com/)
> 
> ALSO Since I post anonymously, check out [Ao3 Feed Crankiplier](https://ao3feed-crankiplier.tumblr.com/) on tumblr for any new posts. I'll start putting TATC in the tags!
> 
> -TATC

**Author's Note:**

> Do you want to see anything in particular? Maybe in this story or in a one shot? Or just have something you want to say anonymously?
> 
> Comment below or drop it in my [Tumblr!](https://tatc.tumblr.com/)
> 
> ALSO Since I post anonymously, check out [Ao3 Feed Crankiplier](https://ao3feed-crankiplier.tumblr.com/) on tumblr for any new posts. I'll start putting TATC in the tags!
> 
> -TATC


End file.
